So much hate inside myself...
So many questions with no real answers...
Does love overcome me? Or is it the lack of, that sends me searching?...only to find a wasteland of decaying dreams.
Indifferent to negative responses...looking to save face, not be seen as a fool; but then, only fooling myself.
Letting myself believe that this is a price I pay for being the person that I am; always giving my all, yet lacking in something....something that was ripped from me?
Could this be why I am always alone?; always the second choice?; the one left behind, having to find my own way out? and why do I always go back?
Do I enjoy the pain, the self doubt?
Sometimes I feel as though the fire that was once in me, that moved me, inspired me,.... has extinguished; leaving behind ashes and smoke.
Leaving me an empty shell, endlessly searching for actions that shatter my soul and words that bleed my heart dry; and so in suffering I feel.
The emptiness inside me fills with something tangible, real.
..and so I live.
Could this be the reason?
